| Joy at Work |
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Sample Meeting FormatsSession OneTheme One: A Cheerful View - Overcoming the Blocks - Developing a Positive Perspective Nancy, a forty-year-old female school counselor, has changed jobs every few years. She is generally unhappy with her work even though she thinks she is very competent. She thinks that others largely control what she does at her work, such as, the principal and the other counselors. She is critical of what others tell her to do and sees that there is very little she can do to change her destiny. These thoughts revolve through her mind daily with great frequency and become obsessive. She says that she wants to be more creative but just gets no help from others. Nancy’s limited perspective is robbing her of the chance to enjoy what she does. She initiates very few activities at work but suggests that others should be doing things differently. The New PerspectiveFor most of us our life evolves according to our own plans or lack thereof, rather than just happening to us. One fundamental belief that promotes joy is that there is always something that you can do to make things better and enjoyable. Nancy’s negative perspective of “I can’t change others” keeps her from looking at what she can change about herself. Lazarus and Fay [1] suggest questions that can help us see that we can make changes. One example is to ask if you would do what you say can’t be done if someone offered you $10,000. Another example is to ask if you could do it if someone pointed a gun to your head. Or, ask if you would be able to do it if it was very important to a person who is close to you in our life, such as a child or spouse. If you answer any of these questions with a yes, then how is it that you wouldn’t do it for your own happiness? The point here is that Nancy needed to learn that much of what she did is what she was choosing to do and not what others were forcing her to do. In other words, she can re-label the obsessive thought that she is totally controlled by others as harmful. Nancy can change her view to a newer, more fruitful perspective. What are some corrective behaviors that can help Nancy develop a new perspective? Replacing the negative revolving thought pattern with a positive perspective is a place to start. First, Nancy needs to become an “impartial spectator” to her thought patterns. She can refocus to a new constructive viewpoint. Nancy could mark in a notebook or recall at night every time she said, “I can’t” or every time she blamed someone else for her unhappiness. Replacing each “I can’t” thought or blame thought with a thought about some action she can take is a way to re-program her self-reflective thought loop. If Nancy is a member of a support group or has a supportive relationship she is can become more likely to keep a daily diary of "I can't" thoughts. Sharing these thoughts with members of a supportive friend or group might help her gain insight about actions she can take. The support group is a listening and reflective experience rather than a barrage of ideas thrown at Nancy. Quick advice seldom leads to effective action. It is important though that Nancy follows one of her own insights and not merely try to do something that someone else advises. Discovering her own actions helps her create ownership of it and increases the odds of success. The goal for Nancy is determining what action she can take that she knows would make her job more enjoyable to her. The action should be a step-by-step plan that Nancy will do each time she notices the "I can't" negative thought loop. The rule is that positive action changes negative thinking. Change doesn't come all at once. Nancy will have a series of successes and failures with the new actions she decided to use but with the support of a friend or group who encourage her to be persistent she has a good chance to change. In summary, faulty assumptions about herself and her job are keeping Nancy from being happy. A new perspective comes from a process of changing behavior and changing thinking. Do you have a persistent negative thought pattern that plagues you about your job? If so, what is it? These thoughts usually start with and "I can't" statement. Write it here and share it with your group members. You may be surprised about how many members of the group have similar negative thoughts. If a member does not have negative thoughts, have they ever had that experience and if so, how did they change? (Share with the group.) My persistent negative thought is . . . Write out a step-by-step plan to take whenever you have a negative thought pattern (I can't thinking.) at work or about your job. Rehearse your plan in your group and imagine doing the plan at work. Close the group experience by sharing what that image was like for you with your group. Practice imagining doing the plan every day for a week. See the plan working for you. After one week start doing the plan at work. Stay with it. And, keep imagining success each evening. See the plan working for you the next day in order to reinforce the learning process of helping yourself take charge of your own joy at work. Source Session TwoTheme One: A Cheerful View - Overcoming the Blocks - Developing a Positive Perspective - Alternative Activity GratitudeOne way to help you lock-in your optimistic perspective is for you to use the idea of a gratitude journal. [1] Start by obtaining a book you find pleasing to look at and write in. Also select a good pen or pencil for your writing. Daily, write in the book five things about the day for which you are grateful. On your “bad days” you might want to list some of the basics in your life, such as, your health, friends, family members or shelter. Look too for small things like seeing a pretty flower, hearing a bird sing, or watching children having fun at play. Thich Nhat Hanh, the author of the book Anger, a prolific writer, and a Buddhist monk, outlines a meditative process that consists of appreciating each part of your body and how it serves you each day. The focus is to enjoy the fact that you have, for example, two hands that allow you to pet an animal, hold a cup of tea, or hold the hand of a person you love. Seek a small gratitude and the bigger ones will come. Don’t worry about making erasures or worry about spelling and grammar. The journal is for you to write in, re-read, and enjoy. If you can consistently do the journal you will find your perspective shifting to a more optimistic, positive and thankful view. The optimism spills over into your work and work setting. Breathnach, the author of this idea, calls the journal a “tool for change” which can transform your life to be more joyful and fulfilling. She does, in fact, consider it to be essential if you want to gain her goal of “simple abundance” in life. Share with your group members your ideas about how you might daily write a list of things for which you are grateful. Try to determine if this idea might work for you and if you think that it might, select a partner to help you remember to do you journal. Each member of the group, if they make a commitment to do the journal, should have a telephone or e-mail partner who will contact each other each day to see if they are doing the listing. The next meeting of the group would begin with a sharing of how the idea of writing each day worked for you and, if the group members feel comfortable doing so, sharing some of the things that they listed. It is a good idea to review the idea of daily writing and some of the examples of gratitude in order to help members develop this effective habit for becoming a more positive, joyous worker. Source |